My name is Noah. Ron Swanson is my spirit animal.The rest is classified information.
JUST A PSA:

loveatitsfinest:

American Airlines’ number (1-800-433-7300) is only one number away from a SEX HOTLINE (1-800-633-7300) IM NOT FUCKING KIDDING MY FLIGHT GOT CANCELED SO I HAD TO CALL AMERICAN AIRLINES AND THE LADY WROTE IT SO THE 4 LOOKED LIKE A 6 SO I CALLED IT AND THIS LADY JUST GOES ”MMMMM IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU IM SO HORNY” IM LIKE IM SHIT THIS ISN’T AMERICAN AIRLINES FUCK

(via soaringsearingphoenix)

titytwochainz:

you really a bitch if you let the microwave hit zeros while your family is asleep you disrespectful bitch

(via newzealandvevo)

pasni-c:

thegirl0nfire:

don’t be friends with seniors because they will graduate and leave you and it’ll suck

DON’T BE FRIENDS WITH UNDERCLASSMEN BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE TO LEAVE THEM AND IT WILL SUCK

don’t be friends with seniors if you’re a senior because they’ll go to a different college than you and it will suck

dont make friends

glad we sorted that out guys

(Source: littlemoretouchmearchive, via newzealandvevo)

marlborodiamonds:

sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star

(Source: halcyondiamonds, via newzealandvevo)

hate:

stop:

hate

whoa what did i do

(via helen-bottom-farter)

lubricates:

lubricates:

PEOPLE WHO MAKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR STATUSES ON FACEBOOK A TEXT POST FROM TUMBLR AND THEN PRETEND LIKE THEY CAME UP WITH IT MAKE ME SO MAD

image

are you fucking kidding me i literally JUST posted this

(via xbelzee)

equisollux:

zombiecthulu:

basedkuroko:

my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE

image

the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone

image

I bet he’s on Tumblr

I am

(Source: lolicutie, via freetobeyourselfalways)

upgraders:

peterfromtexas:

A garage to park your boat, on your yacht.

rich people are f**ked up
ask-koki-kariya:

suprarationality:

The Fault in Our Stepbrothers

Megan?Megan.
lindseyisnotonfire:

this is what yahoo paid 1.1 billion dollars for

theravennest:

rizaoftheowls:

hugh-danced-the-dancy:

leonardodiretardo:

i hate it when adults assume i’m on the internet all the time by choice. if i had enough money to travel around and etc, do you think i would be withering away my youth behind a computer screen you useless paperclip.

I dont think i have ever heard the term useless paperclip used as an insult before.

clearly you never tried to write a word document in the 90s

image

(via cloodle)

unflaws:

I slept almost all day but almost is never enough

(Source: unflaws, via i-needa-life)

potatoandotherwise:

in math today my teacher asked what makes a number perfect and I said its dazzling personality and she almost kicked me out

(via i-needa-life)